Hey Reader,
Yesterday, I told you a little bit of the story of how my life and business have changed and shifted dramatically in the past year. (If you haven’t read it yet, go check it out. I’ll be here when you get back!)
All of those shifts led me to a realization that was, all at once, terrifying and liberating:
I’d lost touch with who I truly am. And it was time to come home to her.
See, I’ve always been a writer. I’ve been other things, too, but writing has been a steadfast companion in my life for as long as I can remember.
I wrote my first book in second grade. I won a short fiction writing prize in high school. I wrote my way into a prestigious scholarship program (the only reason I was able to afford to go to college). I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Creative Writing.
My dream right out of college was to become a travel blogger, and then a novelist. I wanted to write books, journals, interviews, blogs.
Ultimately, I longed to inspire folks to live a life of adventure with the words born from my soul.
Buuut, I graduated from college in 2019. I don’t think I have to remind you what happened in 2020.
Needless to say, with the world shut down and none of us knowing what tomorrow would look like (not that we ever really do, but that’s an email for another time), travel blogging was off the table for my foreseeable future.
Then, by either divine intervention or a very smart ad placement, I fell into copywriting. Later, marketing. And I was good at it. Actually, very good at it.
And it paid well. Actually, very well.
Then, in May of 2020, my mom died. It was incredibly unexpected, devastating, and completely preventable. (I’ll tell her story one day, too, but not now.)
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(Me & my momma at my college graduation. I'm a first-gen college graduate & she was so proud. I love the pic of us laughing! I can't remember why, probably some smartass remark. 50/50 on who from, her or me.)
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After that, my entire world turned upside down
Some days, the only thing that brought me out of bed was learning about copywriting and how to build this business.
In some ways, building my copywriting business saved my life. It certainly gave me a life greater than I could have imagined.
For the next several years, I put my jet-setting, authorial dreams aside and channeled my creativity into other forms of writing.
I helped dozens of truly amazing businesses connect with their customers, share their creations, and grow their livelihood.
I fell in love with email marketing, taken by the romance and nostalgia it evokes.
I learned how business worked, and had the opportunity to work closely with many founders building brands from the ground up.
For a while, I loved it!
I spent years helping great people build great businesses, using my writing talents daily, and making more money than I’d ever seen in my life.
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Until one day, I woke up and realized that even though I had checked off almost every box on my “to-do list for my life,” something wasn’t right.
I was writing, but I wasn’t creating.
I had creative hobbies, sure, but they never gave me life the way creative writing did. They didn’t fuel my energy or fill my cup.
In fact, I realized my cup was pretty empty (approaching bone dry, I feared).
What’s more, I realized I was a workaholic.
I genuinely enjoy productivity. I love completing a project almost as much as I love planning the next one.
Left to my own devices, I’ll happily sit in front of the computer all day, until I’m physically holding my eyelids open at 11 PM just so I can finish what I’m working on. (I blame my Generator instincts.)
You don’t need to be a health nut to know how unsustainable that is, or how detrimental it is to every area of your life.
This realization happened right around the fall of 2023, and it’s what made me seek out one of the most impactful mentors I’ve had to date, Emily Pennystone, and her program Master Your Fate.
I told you yesterday most of what happened in 2024.
Lots of time taking a good, hard look in the mirror, realigning my priorities, and fighting my higher self and the woman who wanted to break free—kicking and screaming the whole way.
By the end of the year, I was tired.
Tired’s not even an accurate word—I was utterly exhausted.
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In my heart, I knew it was time to stop fighting… so I did something that shocked even me.
In December of 2024, I walked away from the business I’d spent the last five years building.
I released FJ Creative Studios from me completely.
At the time, I was just calling it a sabbatical, but it felt like a severance.
I shut down my website. I pulled my offers.
I took a break from my email list, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, you name it. Literally deleted the apps from my phone entirely.
I released my business completely, and along with it the identity I’d built around being a marketer, copywriter, and service provider whose sole job was helping other people build their dreams.
Truthfully... I wasn’t sure if it would ever come back to me.
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I know you’ve gotta move on to other things, but tomorrow, I’ll tell you what happened in the silence that followed—and the unexpected breakthrough that changed everything.
Until then, I really want to know:
Have you ever walked away from something that was working on paper but not feeding your soul?
Were you terrified? What did you do?
I’d absolutely love to hear your story.
ttyt,
Baylee
P.S. It’s honestly a little horrifying to share this story so openly.
The internet is a wild, vast place, and as a recovering people pleaser who was super conditioned growing up to be extra Type A and perfectionistic, it’s very hard for me to share this part of my journey—the messy middle.
But as I come home to myself—as I accept the very much Type B, spontaneous, just-here-for-a-good-time, it’s-not-about-the-destination-it’s-about-the-journey person I’ve always been under the surface—my inner voice roars that it’s time for me to start telling my truth.
Thank you for being here with me through it and reading the words of my heart. It means more to me than you know. đź’–