If you can walk (or read), I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you have.
Let's take those exact skills, for example.
You weren't very good at them when you started, were you?
You probably stumbled, stuttered, and sounded a little like gibberish.
If you had any sense of personal awareness during this time, you likely would have been humiliated by how awful you were.
Your parents would have taken pictures, and you would have said, "OMG NO! Delete those! You'd better not post them!"
Okay, so you didn't have social awareness yet either, but you get where I'm going with this.
But your parents? They loved it.
They awwed and cooed over your chubby, stumbly little legs.
They giggled at the way your tiny mouth formed new words.
You basically turned into a celebrity during this time, your unique pronunciations becoming all the rage in your family and friends' vocabularies.
And then, just as quickly as they came, those moments left.
You learned to walk.
You learned to talk, even then to read.
That awkward, frustrating, precious time was gone, and you were off to the next milestone without a backward glance.
Know something wild?
The rest of your life proceeds much like this same scenario.
Toddler phase. School age. Teenage-hood. Your 20s.
Allegedly, everything past 30 is like riding a breakneck rollercoaster through time.
Santa Claus What GIF by Freeform
Every new version of you goes through some form of this awkward phase, and it's totally agonizing—until it's over.
And then you barely even remember it happening.
I'm in one of these phases right now, Reader.
It took me seemingly no time at all to write The Becoming Journal.
Okay, in reality, it took a few months, but it never felt like that.
In fact, those few months now feel a little like I blinked and a book appeared.
And let me be clear, I'd love nothing more than to live in that phase, writing all day and then kicking the project to the next person when it was time to, ya know, make, market, and sell the book.
Alas, I'm currently taking the self-publishing route, so that's not my reality.
Instead, I'm now smack-dab in the middle of formatting territory, feet solidly planted in a brand-new skill (learning book formatting in Adobe InDesign) that I know nothing about.
Seriously, outside of tooling around with wireframing in Google Docs and Canva during my years as a copywriter, I mean I literally have ZERO experience with formatting...
And learning it is agonizing.
It is so awkward.
I am bad at almost all of it.
Nothing feels intuitive!!
I learn something new and then go apply it, and it's just... wrong.
Last week, I got so frustrated by this that I literally threw myself on the floor and stared at the ceiling for 20 minutes, questioning my entire existence and fate as an author.
​
An actual representation of my mental state during first-time journal formatting
I wish I were kidding.
But eventually, I peeled myself off the floor and tried again.
I still sucked, but a little less than I had before.
I kept going, and ended my day with the shittiest shitty first draft I may have ever done.
And I was elated!
The pages in front of me were finally more than just some words in a Google doc... in fact, they were starting to look like an actual journal.
BECAUSE I MADE THEM THAT WAY!
Now, I still have much work to do to make it look like something you'd actually be excited to use in your daily life...
But at least I have a draft to work off of, rather than another blank page staring me down, InDesign daring me to just go ahead and try to use the shape tool, see what happens.
And the feeling I have today, looking back on the steps I made just last week that gave me the teeny bits of knowledge I have now...
Made me remember how precious these moments truly are.
More than just having learned a new skill, which is amazing in itself...
I laid an essential part of the foundation of my future as a self-published author—
A dream I've had for over 20 years.
Right now, I'm just a little baby author and book publisher, learning those basic first steps.
Sure, I may be a seasoned writer, but I'm really just starting out in this strange new world of self-publishing.
And instead of expecting myself to be an immediate professional at it...
I get to give myself compassion, grace, and a healthy dose of humor so I can keep going. Really, so I can learn to appreciate—hell, maybe even enjoy—it.
Plus, like every other new skill I've learned, I know I'll be even better and faster at it next time.
So whatever new skill, awkward phase, or agonizing step you're going through right now, Reader, just remember to give yourself a little grace.
You're supposed to be bad at it right now.
You're supposed to make mistakes and wobble around like a clumsy newborn.
That's how you learn. That's how you grow.
It's all part of the process.
No caterpillar ever became a butterfly without going through the *goo phase* first.
Evidence of said goo phase from the absolutely gorgeous monarch chrysalis attached to my sweet viburnum bush right now
Before I go, I wanted to fill you in a bit about what you can expect coming up from my emails.
As you know, FJ Creative Studios is back in a brand new form, and with it, blogs are back, too!
So you'll be getting an email from FJ Creative Studios when a new one is posted.
For now, FJ Creatives is a small but mighty team of one (me!), but it's my dream to create jobs and grow this brand to a team of amazing creatives working together for good.
The first blog you've got coming your way is all about why creativity and having creative hobbies are a necessity, not a luxury...
And what might happen if you allow yourself to let go of the need for productivity and just make.
So look for that, soon!
You'll also be getting more behind-the-scenes looks at the creation process of The Becoming Journal—
Awkward formatting and design lessons, and all.
Including one of the first big milestones...
​
THE COVER REVEAL!!!
You don't wanna know how long it took me to make this product mock-up!!
​
Isn't she lovely? I'm mildly obsessed with the mushroom detail. Gills for days!
I worked so hard to get to this point and went through countless versions (I'll share some, sometime!) before landing on this cover design, but it was all worth it for how much I love this one!
This week, I'm working on implementing edits from my wonderful, eagle-eyed editor before sending it off for a FINAL (!!!) round, and then it's back into the formatting stage next week.
So if all goes as planned and my proof comes back not horribly off-center or with strange little gaps everywhere... (pray for me)
I'm planning on releasing The Becoming Journal on July 24th!
AND I've decided to finally open it up for pre-orders, which means if you purchase your copy now, not only will you get it shipped on July 24th and be the first to hold it in your hands...
You'll also receive a signed copy plus a special, surprise gift from me!
So if you wanna know everything there is to know about The Becoming Journal and how it can help you manifest the life of your dreams, you can get all the info right here! ⬇️
(I'll give you the quick TL;DR to catch you up to speed) ​ ​Hi! I'm Baylee Jennings. ​ Writer, artist, and creative entrepreneur who believes more than anything that you deserve to be in love with your life.
I create books, journals, wearables, and digital resources to inspire you, support your growth, and help you build the life of your dreams.